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McQuaid Jesuit's biweekly content heap.

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<em>The Babadook</em>

Thomas LaFay, Belated Horror | November 16, 2023

[Content Warning: If you're unaware, this is a horror film. Some pretty dark stuff follows.] A rumbling sound then three sharp knocks: BA BA DOOK DOOK DOOK. That’s when you’ll know that he’s around. In The Babadook, directed by Jennifer Kent, a single mother, depressed because of the death of her husband, starts being stalked by a monster, whose presence frightens her son and causes her to...

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Sink Your Teeth Into Jaws. No, Really.

Thomas LaFay, Amity Islander | May 10, 2023

If you enjoy suspenseful thrillers with iconic characters and a classic storyline, then Jaws is a must-watch movie for you. The 1975 movie directed by Steven Spielberg is not only considered a classic and one of the greatest films of all time, but it also set the standard for modern day suspense and thriller movies. The tension builds throughout the film, keeping you on the edge of your seat until...

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Ohtani/Yamamoto: Where Will They Land?

John Morris, Avid Mets Hater | November 16, 2023

Now that the MLB season came to a close just about two weeks ago, we have arrived at a particularly highly anticipated offseason. As some players head into free agency, teams have already begun to make changes to their roster, both in terms of players and managerial staff. Out of all the notable new free agents, the most versatile and popular out of them all is none other than noted unicorn Shohei...

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Shake and Bak—No, Wait, Tank and Bank

Evan Tomcik, Draft Pick Hoarder | October 30, 2023

Tanking: the only word that gets thrown around more than the football every NFL season. But what exactly is it, and why is it a horrible idea, especially for this year's upcoming draft? Tanking is when a team plays horribly on purpose in order to get a better draft pick, and therefore get a great player to help rebound the following year. However, tanking is a horrible idea, and since it's quite...

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Honkai Star Rail: Are we Creepin’?

Marcel Coney, Debtor | October 30, 2023

Honkai Star Rail is an immersive turn-based open-world RPG game released in late April 2023, the fourth in the Honkai series. As the player, you tag along with the Astral Express crew to explore and help save planets across the universe from seeds of disaster known as "stellarons." There are many aspects to the game that can be seen in other Hoyoverse titles, but one of the most unique aspects is...

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<em>Starfield</em>

Izzy Wortman, Crimson Fleet Admiral | September 27, 2023

Ah, I'm back after a nice long summer abroad. The month of September brought along many things: a new school year, the movie The Creator (which I'm hyped to see) and a very special game made by Bethesda Softworks: STARFIELD. Some background information: Bethesda Softworks is a game developer from Maryland, who have created some of the world's best RPGs, including Fallout: New Vegas, Fallout 4, and...

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Horrifically Verifiable Candy Rankings

Thomas Steele, Supplier of Truth with a Sweet Tooth | October 30, 2023

By the time you are reading this, it will be the end of October, which means that it is the autumn. The leaves will be changing, the flavors will be pumpkin, and most importantly, you and all of your neighbors will be setting up your Halloween decorations. There is no doubt about it: we are now in the spoopy season. However, when that fateful October 31 comes around, and you need to know whether to...

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The Goldilocks Zone of Oreo Stuf

Izzy Wortman, Cookie Sandwich Artist | April 12, 2023

Oreos. We all know them: those beautiful little chocolate-and-cream sandwich cookies, eaten in a multitude of ways—including dipped in batter and deep-fried; milkboarded like they were extraordinarily rendered by the CIA; crushed to bits and put on some other dessert; and, of course, taken apart so their filling can be scooped out of them with various implements. You know, now that I say that...

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Summer “Vacation”

Liam Clark, Recovering Reprobate | September 29, 2022

As I roam and traverse this empty hall, I start wondering if it's the same at all As the raucous building that I used to hear Throughout all the days of yesteryear. Here I am, though I should really be free; This is basically an educational tyranny. Learning my lessons all over again? If this is for real, I might go insane. I'm at the room now, though I'd rather hide From the ultimate...

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A Poem

Bobby McCann, Swift in his Death-Dealing | February 11, 2021

I left you, mother, at such a young age, and turned to sadness and sorrow and rage. The Danes had family and friendship alike, and they tasted better than sheep and the like.   They would fruitlessly run right away, whenever I opened the hall to light from the day. Then I began coming at night, leaving them with quite a blight.   Never would I be normal like them, they...

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Now and Then

Liam Clark, Beatlemaniac | November 16, 2023

When the Beatles came out with a new song on November 2nd, I, like many others, was pretty hyped, as I have always been a fan of the band and their work. Others, however, were understandably confused: How could a song come out from a band that broke up nearly 50 years ago and has only two living members? The answer, believe it or not, is Peter Jackson. But before we get to him, we have to go back ....

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Aja!

Laszlo Jurasinski, He's Got the News | November 16, 2023

Steely Dan is most known for their song “Reelin’ in the Years,” but they entered a full-on smooth jazz era in their late period, where they made unsurpassed music. Donald Fagen and Walter Becker were always known for their jazz-inspired music; when they began working together, they essentially made jazz-inspired rock. It remained one of their main influences, and by the end of their career, they...

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The History and Evolution of the Driver’s Test

Ronan Turkovich, Curbside Parker | September 27, 2023

Almost everyone takes it, everyone remembers it differently, and everyone sits in the same place after passing it: behind the wheel. People are usually eager to share personal anecdotes about the famous driving test. Some pass on their first try, while others fail for such “transgressions” as yielding to a frenzied squirrel crossing the street rather than driving onward. Driving instructors are...

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Why Is Arnold Schwarzenegger is so influential to teens?

Chase Collings, Arnold's #1 Fan | May 31, 2023

First, a little overview of Arnold's life. He was born in Austria in 1947. This was right after World War II, so Austria had taken a beating all over the landscape, such as destroyed buildings and homes. His family was poor and his childhood was hard, but when he was 14 he started going to the gym for soccer . . . and never stopped. The gym sparked a passion like no other in him. It would get him through...

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Creating a Cult!

Dylan Phannao and Minghui Li | November 16, 2023

[DISCLAIMER: This article is for entertainment purposes only. We here at the Shield do not endorse or condone any illegal or unethical activities. We (Dylan and Minghui) do, however, find it hilarious.] Have you ever wished to have loyal followers who will listen to your every command? Do you want a community of people who share your thoughts? Are you charismatic and want to lead people with absolute...

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Ghost Tanks

James Hay, Armored Writing Vehicle | October 30, 2023

There are many legends, myths, and stories surrounding World War II. Some of these are missing aircraft or ships—but none of them top the relatively unknown one of the ghost tank.  Before we discuss the myth, we must know a bit of the backstory. World War II began in 1939. At the start of the war, France, the UK, and their respective empires declared war on Germany due to the German declaration...

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McQuaid Jesuit's biweekly content heap.