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“Barbarian” was barbaric

Ethan Weiss, Renter Who Doesn't Ask Questions | September 29, 2022

First of all, THERE ARE SPOILERS in here. I WILL GO OVER THE MAJOR PLOT TWISTS AND OTHER THINGS LIKE THAT. [Ed. Note—Also, it's a horror movie. You may find stuff in here that scares you.] Most people have heard about the "movie with that weird dungeon in that sketchy basement," and I keep hearing how that movie was good or even great, but I am here to tell you that this movie was a trainwreck....

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<em>The Mummy</em> (1999): A Retrospective

Sam Topa, Egyptologist/Couch Potato | May 6, 2021

As I'm sure all my loyal readers have noticed, I haven't written an article for the Shield in quite a while. Unfortunately, schoolwork and hobbies have left me with limited free time, meaning I've had very little opportunity for movie-watching. However, in my busy schedule, I've still (for some reason) managed to make time for one film: 1999's The Mummy. Unlike many young people, I didn't watch The...

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Rookie Check-In: Top 5 Draft Picks

Graham Hill, Mel Kiper III | September 29, 2022

Week 2 of the 2022-2023 NFL season is in the books. So far, it’s been an eventful two weeks with lots of missed kicks, big hits, and unexpected upsets, all of which makes it easy to forget about the talented 2022 draft class as they get used to the business side of the NFL and the skill jump from college. Let’s take a look at how the rooks are fairing with their new teams. Jacksonville Jaguars:...

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2022 NFL Mock Draft (Round 1)

Andy Magioncalda, Draft Grade Inflator | April 28, 2022

We've reached that point of the year where teams will look to improve their rosters through the draft—and fortunately, since this year's draft class is loaded in almost every position other than quarterback, there will be a chance for every team to get better for the coming season.   Pick 1: Jacksonville Jaguars Aidan Hutchinson, ED, Michigan The Jags were able to address their offensive...

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<em>Wynncraft</em>: A Throwback to a Classic (with Archer Torture)

Marcel Coney, Sufferer of Slings and Arrows | February 9, 2022

Anybody from a respectably older audience has probably heard of the game RuneScape, a wildly popular MMORPG that took the gaming industry by storm in 2001, where you effectively tried maxing out your character to the best of your abilities. Even though it's been so long since then, RuneScape still has a player count of over 100,000. In around 2013, when player counts were a much 10,000, Minecraft—then...

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This game is “straight thunder”

Ethan Weiss, The Only Accurate Weather Forecaster | February 8, 2022

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to travel at the speed of sound with a shoulder mounted missile launcher and a ukulele with a meat hook that is alive? Well, now you're probably wondering it, anyway. Let's talk about Risk of Rain 2: the story of a delivery ship getting captured by a king of pure vengeance. This game is $25, and it's worth every penny. Background Risk of Rain 2 starts...

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Theological-Style Proof of a Quesadilla

Charles Sutton, Dealing Out Cases of Truth | December 16, 2021

The following statements are proofs meant to convince the reader that quesadillas are in fact the greatest food, ever. These proofs are in the style of Saint Thomas InstituteonDeweyAvenue's proofs of the existence of God. This is not, in any way, a direct comparison of quesadillas to God. It is merely a sign of reverence and respect to the "lord" of all foods: quesadillas. Surface Area The tortilla...

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Life-Saving Candy Review for Halloween Enjoyment

Charles Sutton, He's Mr. Sweets Miser | November 8, 2021

In the course of American childhood, one may come across a certain odd tradition called "trick or treating." If you're not familiar, it goes like this: on the last night of every October, kids approach their neighbor's houses and ask for candy. Most of the time, their neighbors comply. They stock up on candy a few days before, eat said candy, and sometimes, go back to the store for more candy on the...

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A Poem

Bobby McCann, Swift in his Death-Dealing | February 11, 2021

I left you, mother, at such a young age, and turned to sadness and sorrow and rage. The Danes had family and friendship alike, and they tasted better than sheep and the like.   They would fruitlessly run right away, whenever I opened the hall to light from the day. Then I began coming at night, leaving them with quite a blight.   Never would I be normal like them, they...

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A Catholic Learner’s Guide To Biblical Monstrosities #1: The Seraph

Gabriel Knapp, Monster Hunter: Bible | April 29, 2020

Greetings, fellow sinners of McQuaid Jesuit! I’m Gabe Knapp, resident biblical beastmaster and heresiarch, and I’ve come bearing horrible truths and unimaginable fears. This is the first (vocation willing) in my series of biblical "survival guides," starting with Seraphs.  As students of McQuaid Jesuit, we find ourselves close to religion on the daily, particularly Catholicism and other denominations...

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Polos and Backpacks: Kanye and <em>The College Dropout</em>

Matei Jucan, Ballerific Like It's Terrific | November 16, 2021

Kanye West. Where to even begin? He’s arguably the most renowned rapper of the 21st century rap. Everyone knows who Kanye is, especially since his fame reaches far beyond his music. He’s been involved in multiple controversies, designed one of the biggest shoe lines in the world, and until recently was married to Kim Kardashian. While many associate Ye with fame and riches, he wasn’t always...

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<em>Growth & Development</em>, by 22Gz

Matei Jucan, Gang Wrapper | October 18, 2021

Introduction The newfound influence of the New York drill game is rapidly growing as more and more rappers from Brooklyn to Tribeca attempt to encroach upon the mainstream. The drill scene originally emerged in Chicago, but died out due to a lack of popularity before returning in recent years in the UK, from where it butterflied its way over to New York. Popular UK drillers such as SL, Dave, and Russ...

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Lasik: Overpriced or Worth It?

Marcel Coney, Rift of the Oculus | September 29, 2022

For those of you that have 20/20 vision, I resent you for being so perfect. Living life with glasses is a very different experience than being able to read what's rather close to you, and that's coming directly from someone who has had glasses for at least seven years now. Sometimes you can't see the board, sometimes you can't tell who someone is, sometimes you can't even find your glasses in the morning,...

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Veterans’ Mental Health

Alex Steele | November 8, 2021

According to a report published by the United States Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) in 2016, an average of 20 veterans die from suicide every day. That is a serious issue and it does not appear to be going away. Data from the VA shows that 30 percent of active duty and reserve personnel deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan have a mental health problem requiring treatment. Of these 30% only half of...

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Cave Allegory and Simulation

Bobby McCann, Cave Lighter | October 18, 2021

The purpose of this article is to give an account of Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, and then show, through Baudrillard’s ideas of simulation and hyperreality, that it is unusable. The first part can serve as a general introduction to Plato’s concept of Forms, while the second part can also serve as an introduction to Baudrillard’s Simulacra and Simulation.  I: The Allegory In Plato’s Republic,...

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Discourse on the USA and Socialism: Part 1

Daniel Dancuta and Bobby McCann | May 6, 2021

“Socialism, the Snake with Blue Eyes” is a speech written by 2020 McQuaid Jesuit senior Aiden Nasca. It was uploaded to YouTube and won third place in the 2020 Senior Speech Competition. Clearly, the speech is about a complex and controversial issue. This video prompted us to create a response, to analyze some of the points made, and add a level of nuance to a very misunderstood topic. These...

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