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<em>The Mummy</em> (1999): A Retrospective

Sam Topa, Egyptologist/Couch Potato | May 6, 2021

As I'm sure all my loyal readers have noticed, I haven't written an article for the Shield in quite a while. Unfortunately, schoolwork and hobbies have left me with limited free time, meaning I've had very little opportunity for movie-watching. However, in my busy schedule, I've still (for some reason) managed to make time for one film: 1999's The Mummy. Unlike many young people, I didn't watch The...

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<em>The Leader:</em> Zhong Jun’s Masterpiece

Daniel Dancuta, Official CCP Analyst | February 11, 2021

The Leader, or 领风者, is a Chinese animated series, which more or less the whole cosmos has acknowledged as propaganda. The web series was started with the express purpose of showing teenagers how awesome Marxism is. It was shown weekly on Bilibili in 2019 and caught the eye of many pro- and anti-Marxist figures. The show is comprised of seven enthralling episodes, each displaying important moments...

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USMNT: Powered By Youth

Alex Steele, Star-and-Striped Correspondent | February 10, 2021

Imagine this: You are a huge soccer fan (as I know you are) and are treating yourself to a live soccer match on this fine night, the tenth of October, the Year of Our Lord 2017. However, this is not just any soccer match; this is the deciding match in the fifth round of the World Cup Qualifiers. Your United States Men’s National Team (USMNT) simply needs to achieve a draw against lowly Trinidad...

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Biggest Winners So Far this NBA Offseason

Thanasi Strebenis, Armchair Front Officer | December 9, 2020

The Thunder The Thunder have finessed their way into potentially having 17 first round picks for the next six years. [Ed. Note: This is the funniest thing I have ever read.] This involved trading away Chris Paul and Dennis Schroder for Danny Green, Kelly Oubre, and others, along with two first-rounders. They then traded away Oubre and others to acquire even more picks. I have to say I am very impressed...

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<em>Animal Crossing: New Horizons</em> in Quarantine Life

Sammy Goodwin, God of a Computer Generated Island | May 13, 2020

If there's one thing that all this uncertainty has taken from most people's lives, it's structure. Mass quarantine has thrust people inside their homes for what feels like forever. Without consistent social interaction and the comforting structure that normal life provides us, many were left feeling aimless, bored, and disillusioned. And in the midst of all of this, Nintendo released their new game:...

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Retro Metro Volume II #5 / #6: <em>Mario Kart Wii</em>

Ben Buyer, Unusually Retrospective Gamer | May 12, 2020

“Everyone points to famous and historic ancestors in their family tree. It’s their way of being thankful that they themselves weren’t there when history was being made.” –Arkol, Argivian Scholar, The Shattered Alliance “May you live in interesting times.” –English expression based on a nonexistent Chinese curse -🛡️- Hey, it’s me, Ben Buyer. Someone remembers me,...

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If You Can’t See Your Friends, Grow Your Own

Matt Magiera, In Brettanomyces Is Fides | May 13, 2020

(or, and over Mr. [and the] Morales' most strenuous objections, "The Path of Yeast Persistence") If necessity is the mother of invention, then boredom must at least be the babysitter. Think of what an uncomplicated house Wallace and Gromit would live in if their inventions were driven solely by necessity. Certainly nobody would have invented game shows without boredom, that most monotonous muse,...

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Quarancuisine: The Wonders of Wastelessness

The Morales, Mixer, Baker, Broiler, Fry | May 13, 2020

If you've so much as breathed near a copy of the New York Times in the last five years, congratulations—you're currently the proud ignorer of approximately 1.6 million emails from NYT Cooking, and that's assuming they've only made their insidious way into one of your email addresses. If, like me, you make it a point to keep a few around, you can't so much as think about food without Sam Sifton...

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A Poem

Bobby McCann, Swift in his Death-Dealing | February 11, 2021

I left you, mother, at such a young age, and turned to sadness and sorrow and rage. The Danes had family and friendship alike, and they tasted better than sheep and the like.   They would fruitlessly run right away, whenever I opened the hall to light from the day. Then I began coming at night, leaving them with quite a blight.   Never would I be normal like them, they...

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A Catholic Learner’s Guide To Biblical Monstrosities #1: The Seraph

Gabriel Knapp, Monster Hunter: Bible | April 29, 2020

Greetings, fellow sinners of McQuaid Jesuit! I’m Gabe Knapp, resident biblical beastmaster and heresiarch, and I’ve come bearing horrible truths and unimaginable fears. This is the first (vocation willing) in my series of biblical "survival guides," starting with Seraphs.  As students of McQuaid Jesuit, we find ourselves close to religion on the daily, particularly Catholicism and other denominations...

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<em>Rodeo</em>, by Travis Scott

Nate Catlin | May 6, 2021

Travis Scott’s career has shaped the sonic landscape of hip-hop and popular culture across the world, even as his brand deals with Nike, Sony, McDonalds, and various other companies have catapulted him far beyond being just another rapper, in keeping with mentors of his like Kanye West. But before Travis Scott (real name: Jacques Bermon Webster II [Ed. Note—that's a great name and why wouldn't...

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<em>Wh0l3 L0tta R3D</em>, by Playboi Carti

Nate Catlin and Matei Jucan | May 6, 2021

Introduction Whole Lotta Red is one of Carti’s most experimental albums to date, offering a nuanced glimpse at the lifestyle of a rapper who's been on opium for the last ten days. Interestingly enough, the album appeals to the trap and rock communities by riddling each piece with references to Slash, Opium magazine, MF Doom (“I just hit a lick with a mask, MF Doom," from "Stop Breathing"), and...

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Diocese of Rochester: How We Got Here

April 26, 2021

All the Catholic Bishops throughout the word today can be traced back to the original apostles of Jesus Christ. Apostolic succession is key in maintaining Catholic authority at the local level, through dioceses and their bishops. What follows is the construction of a lineage from our current bishop in the Diocese of Rochester, tracing Catholic succession back through time until tumultuous historical...

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The Federalist Papers But Epic

Sammy Goodwin, Muckraker | October 16, 2020

The following are the beginning of a series of intellectual essays I am writing which highlight a multitude of relevant and systemic issues ingrained in our society. Much like Alexander Hamilton, I have an agenda. Unlike Alexander Hamilton, I am not an elitist $*(#!. Enjoy! No. 1 In their hit song “What Makes You Beautiful,” One Direction commits a terrible sin under the guise of appreciation....

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Cullenary #5: Gameday & Study Snacks

Ian Cullen, Senior Gameday {Snack} Cullenspondent | February 28, 2020

Welcome back for a quick stop from your studying! Do you often find yourself hungry as could be? Is your pantry constantly air-dry? Are you simultaneously struggling to focus on your schoolwork? Or, alternately: do you like watching sports? Do you struggle with finding super good appetizers to munch on during halftime? Does your pantry haunt you during Thursday Night Football? If you answered...

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Algae as Biofuel

Justin Coumou, Algal Variable | December 11, 2019

As fossil fuels are depleted from the earth, humans are looking for renewable energy. Some of the most popular sources of renewable energy include solar panels and windmills. While these can effectively produce clean energy, they are not without flaws; solar panels require clear skies and do not produce electricity at night, while windmills require wind to produce electricity. While the idea of using...

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