The Shield

McQuaid Jesuit's biweekly content heap.

The Shield

The Shield

2023: A Year of Film in Review

Charles Sutton, Unresolved Optimist | January 17, 2024

Movie theatres have been a significant part of American culture for decades. A gathering place for everyone. Occasionally, huge movies became cultural events. Everyone saw them at the theatre; they were universal experiences that became part of pop culture and regular conversations everywhere. In 2023, there were some such movies. We will be talking about the shock wave of the Bomb in Oppenheimer and...

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<em>The Babadook</em>

Thomas LaFay, Belated Horror | November 16, 2023

[Content Warning: If you're unaware, this is a horror film. Some pretty dark stuff follows.] A rumbling sound then three sharp knocks: BA BA DOOK DOOK DOOK. That’s when you’ll know that he’s around. In The Babadook, directed by Jennifer Kent, a single mother, depressed because of the death of her husband, starts being stalked by a monster, whose presence frightens her son and causes her to...

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This Ain’t No War, Son

Evan Tomcik, Wannabe Mel Kiper | May 1, 2024

Let's get right into it. #1: Chicago Bears: QB Caleb Williams, USC. This isn't really all that surprising. He's been the projected first pick for months now, but to be honest, I don't really like the pick. The sheer talent is there, but he had struggles in college at times, especially last season. He has also developed a reputation as a prima donna, stating this offseason that he wants to be a part-owner...

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MLB: 2024 Preview

John Morris, California Padgers Enjoyer | March 20, 2024

Spring training is coming to a close, and Opening Day 2024 is just days away. After quite the eventful offseason, baseball fans are excited to see the big names back in action, some of them in new uniforms. Most notably, Shohei Ohtani signed a record breaking $700 million deal with the Dodgers this past December. Not long after his fellow countryman, Yoshinobu Yamamoto, signed with the Dodgers as well. Some...

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Helldivers II

James Hay, Galactic Cartographer | May 1, 2024

Do you perchance like any of the following concepts: liberty, democracy, or Earth? Have you ever wanted to fight bugs that were harvested for their resources on government plants that broke o—I mean bugs that have no elections and must be liberated of their resources, robot sla—I mean protesting unionized automaton workers, or an alien race that at this time is not recognized by the government?...

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Honkai Star Rail: Are we Creepin’?

Marcel Coney, Debtor | October 30, 2023

Honkai Star Rail is an immersive turn-based open-world RPG game released in late April 2023, the fourth in the Honkai series. As the player, you tag along with the Astral Express crew to explore and help save planets across the universe from seeds of disaster known as "stellarons." There are many aspects to the game that can be seen in other Hoyoverse titles, but one of the most unique aspects is...

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Food Be the Food of Love, Actually

Mario G. Morales-Bermúdez, Chef d'Affection | February 13, 2024

The last time I showed up around these parts to talk about food, because I have a gift for staking out popular positions that will be shared by absolutely everyone in time, I chose to talk about how cooking during lockdown taught me the value of not wasting anything in your kitchen. I stand by that, to be clear, especially as every grocery store chain openly gouges us, gives us some sorry excuse we...

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Horrifically Verifiable Candy Rankings

Thomas Steele, Supplier of Truth with a Sweet Tooth | October 30, 2023

By the time you are reading this, it will be the end of October, which means that it is the autumn. The leaves will be changing, the flavors will be pumpkin, and most importantly, you and all of your neighbors will be setting up your Halloween decorations. There is no doubt about it: we are now in the spoopy season. However, when that fateful October 31 comes around, and you need to know whether to...

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Summer “Vacation”

Liam Clark, Recovering Reprobate | September 29, 2022

As I roam and traverse this empty hall, I start wondering if it's the same at all As the raucous building that I used to hear Throughout all the days of yesteryear. Here I am, though I should really be free; This is basically an educational tyranny. Learning my lessons all over again? If this is for real, I might go insane. I'm at the room now, though I'd rather hide From the ultimate...

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A Poem

Bobby McCann, Swift in his Death-Dealing | February 11, 2021

I left you, mother, at such a young age, and turned to sadness and sorrow and rage. The Danes had family and friendship alike, and they tasted better than sheep and the like.   They would fruitlessly run right away, whenever I opened the hall to light from the day. Then I began coming at night, leaving them with quite a blight.   Never would I be normal like them, they...

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Let’s Make Some Music

Charles Sutton, Unresolved Cynic | May 1, 2024

A melody by itself is boring. Well, most melodies by themselves are boring. Add the proper countermelody, a baseline that complements but does not overbear, and interesting chords, and the melody rings loud and clear; the piece becomes complete. However, even if this full cast of musical characters comes together, it only rings loud and clear if played with heart. This is why Artificial Intelligence...

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The Ballad of Billy Joel

Thomas Steele, Last of the Big Time Writers | May 1, 2024

On February 1 this year, Billy Joel released "Turn The Lights Back On," one of his few singles since his last album, 1993's River of Dreams. This song was also his first one to make the Billboard 100 since 1997. After listening to it, I realized how much I liked Billy Joel’s music, which varies from jazz to rock to pop. He had a long and successful career, to which I want to pay tribute. In this...

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College Board: The Higher Education Monopoly Game

Ronan Turkovich, Tester of the Standardized | March 20, 2024

What is a monopoly? Dictionary.com defines the term as “a market structure characterized by a single seller, selling a unique product in the market.” Now let’s ask the question: Is the College Board a monopoly? The College Entrance Examination Board (referred to as the College Board) was founded at Columbia University in 1899 by twelve colleges and three high school preparatory schools, with...

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Ten Greatest Bowls of ALL TIME

Dylan Phannao, Paterarch | February 7, 2024

With the Super Bowl coming up soon, there's one question on everyone's mind: what are the top ten greatest bowls of all time, starting at #10, according to me, a writer for a high school magazine? Well, read on and enjoy #10: Bowling The tenth greatest bowl of all time is bowling. Some of you may be thinking "why is this included?" Bowling does not have anything to do with bowls, nor are there...

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Brain Rot and its Consquences

Dylan Phannao, Skibidi writer | January 17, 2024

You wanna know how i got this drip? My father, was a sigma, from ohio. And one night, he goes off sussier than the imposter at 3 am. Mommy gets the baby gronk rizzing up livvy dunn to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the OG fortnite rizzler to ohio, laughing the ocky way while he does it. He turns to me and says, "What the dog doing?" He griddys at me with...

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Creating a Cult!

Dylan Phannao and Minghui Li | November 16, 2023

[DISCLAIMER: This article is for entertainment purposes only. We here at the Shield do not endorse or condone any illegal or unethical activities. We (Dylan and Minghui) do, however, find it hilarious.] Have you ever wished to have loyal followers who will listen to your every command? Do you want a community of people who share your thoughts? Are you charismatic and want to lead people with absolute...

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McQuaid Jesuit's biweekly content heap.