The Goldilocks Zone of Oreo Stuf

Oreos. We all know them: those beautiful little chocolate-and-cream sandwich cookies, eaten in a multitude of ways—including dipped in batter and deep-fried; milkboarded like they were extraordinarily rendered by the CIA; crushed to bits and put on some other dessert; and, of course, taken apart so their filling can be scooped out of them with various implements.

You know, now that I say that out loud, I’m glad they aren’t sentient, like the cinnamon cereal. Ugh.

Anyway, there are many different seasonal and limited-edition flavors of Oreos, including coffee, android (yes, the little green dude), golden, mint, peanut butter, etc. But no matter the flavor or the methodology of eating, there has always been one similarity, and that’s the Stuf.

What is the Stuf?

The Stuf is a white cream with a rich consistency and a slight taste of vanilla. The cream usually amounts to around 3 grams of stuffing compared to the 4.15 grams of cookie on each side. Now, many Oreoficionados say this is the “best possible ratio,” but I happen to disagree. I think that the normal Oreo has way too little Stuf, and that as a result, the flavor of the Stuf is overtaken by the chocolate.

What about Double Stuf?

The Double Stuf Oreo was (appropriately) the second variety of Oreo to come out, and first hit store shelves in 1974. Many things from the ’70s have come and go, including disco, Atari, and frayed jeans, but why is the double Stuf Oreo still around to this day? I think it’s because the double Stuf Oreo is getting closer to the golden ratio of cookie to Stuf, though I personally feel it is still lacking. The cookie still overwhelms the Stuf, which comes in at 6 grams this time. I feel it could use a tiny bit more.

Okay, buster, here’s Mega Stuf.

Mega Stuf was released in 2015 and has been flying off of store shelves since their debut, and it’s easy to see why. They are double the size of Double Stuf and have a whopping 11 grams of Stuf compared to 4.15 grams per cookie! These cookies are by far my favorite, as the strong taste of the Stuf is balanced against the chocolate taste still in the cookie. After all, it’s 9 grams of cookie with 11 grams of Stuf—almost a 50/50 ratio! They are big enough that you can put a fork in the Stuf and use it to dip the whole thing in milk! They are great when fried, and have something for both lovers of Stuf and cookie.

And here’s the Most Stuf.

Debuting in 2019, the Most Stuf Oreos contain, suprisingly, the most Stuf! Coming in at an incredible 14 grams of Stuf, they have almost 5 times as much as the original Oreo! Many people say that these Oreos are too big and, therefore, impossible to eat when you know that they come in at 110 calories per cookie! Since their debut, they have released only one other flavor, the Most OREO OREO. These Oreos are filled with 14 grams of cookies and cream, by which I mean crushed-up Oreos put into the Stuf, which is too much for many! These cookies are the only size of regular-flavor Oreo to not be available year round.

The Important Question: How much Stuf is best?

Put another way, if Goldilocks came up with an Oreo, how much cookie and how much Stuf would be involved? By taking input from over 100 people, I have arrived at, perhaps, some conclusions:

• 22 people said they enjoyed the ratio in regular Oreos. Some of them added something like “I wish there was a bit less cookie.”
• 46 people said they thought double was the perfect balance, with one person quoted as saying, “I love double Stuf! It’s like the perfect blend of cookie and cream!” Another said: “Are you recording me? Why are you asking me about cookies? Why are you in my house? Get out of my house!”
• 26 people say that mega was their favorite, some saying that it was the “most dunkable thing since nachos.”
• 5 people said their favorite was the most, saying that “it fills me up” or that they “didn’t fit in with the others.”
• One person said they like the golden Oreo best. He hasn’t been seen since and is most likely gone forever. No one is seeing him again. It’s not like anyone would want to.

What do I think?

I personally think the perfect Oreo would be a blend between their sister cookie, Oreo Minis, and double Stuf. This seemed to get general agreement.