Failure is non-existent. You either win, or learn.
People avoid failure because they are scared of looking bad, being wrong, and being embarrassed. The truth is: mistakes are the best teachers. Mistakes test people and push them into becoming better.
When we try something new, and make a mistake, we learn what works and what doesn’t. We were all babies (duh), and we all had to learn how to walk. We never walked on our first try [Ed. Note—maybe you didn’t]; we fell down hundreds of times. But after many attempts, we could walk, proving that even as babies, we knew that we had to pick ourselves up and get back in the race. The falls were not a problem—they were a lesson.
The same applies to school. When we “fail” a test, we could give up. Or we seek to improve—the best outcome—work harder and change ourselves. Every mistake teaches us how to be better. The difficult part is accepting the mistake and learning from it, and if we do, we grow.
Another example, imagine you build a toy tower, and it falls. You could give up, clean up, and walk away . . . or you could ask, “why did it fall?” You may learn that it was because you stacked the blocks above the first one in an uneven manner. The next time you build the toy tower, you properly stack up the blocks and fix it. That’s problem solving.
Not only is failure and making mistakes a way of learning, it also builds character. If life was always easy, we would never be strong and independent. Struggles force us to develop resilience and persistence. A good example would be going to the gym. Our muscles don’t grow on their own. We go to the gym and make our muscles stronger by making them hurt. That pain is a physical reminder of the struggle that builds our strength.
Mistakes in other things are the same. Resistance fights us, and we have to fight back, put in more effort and eventually succeed.
If we don’t make mistakes, it means that we are settling: we are satisfied with what we have. It means that we are not doing anything new, and I don’t think it’s the best to stay in the same place, as growth only occurs when you step outside your comfort zone. Never settle for mediocrity. You can always do better if you try.
A common goal we all share is to become great at something. The price we pay for being great is that we are going to be a little crappy when starting. We are going to make mistakes. We are going to look stupid. In the end, though, those mistakes develop us because we know right from wrong. So step outside your comfort zone and do something that’d make you feel uneasy.
A great analogy would be why we use pencils in math, not pens. Pencils have erasers, but that’s because mistakes are expected. We are not expected to be math geniuses the moment we step into a classroom, we are expected to struggle, and the people who embrace the struggle—the mistakes—prove to be the most successful ones. Why? Because they never gave up. They learned from their mistakes and became better.
On top of that, mistakes humble us. People are arrogant because they believe they know everything, and that pride closes off the most important thing in humanity: listening and being open to growth. Mistakes break that ego, they remind us that we always have more to learn. And from our learned lessons, we can commit to improving and doing the right thing.
And from my personal experience—I make MANYYYYY mistakes—I feel more confident knowing that I am going to mess up. Because I know not everything will go perfectly, so I don’t worry about controlling everything and overwhelming myself wanting certain things to go one way. My confidence is also from knowing that even if I fail, I can handle it and bounce back. I will admit, I’ve done poorly on academic works: tests, quizzes, essays . . . but I didn’t give up seeing a bad grade. I took it to heart and said I was going to do better. I was going to work harder. I was going to change how I approach my next academic work. I was going to be on time. And I did, and I performed better. The cherry on top was seeing that growth and improvement. It gave me more joy and confidence than already having a ‘perfect’ score.
Simply, how we handle mistakes and ‘failure’ determines our true character and success. How I learn from mistakes is following a four-step process every time something goes wrong:
- Accept the mistake, don’t fight or hide from it. Face it.
- Ask why it happened? What went wrong? What can you do differently?
- Try again. Try again with a new approach.
- Repeat the first three steps—because your first, second, or even third attempt might not solve the problem.
I remember it easily because I follow the acronym: “A.R.T.”
A = Accept the mistake
R = Reflect
T = Try again—differently
So stop fearing failure. Understand that it does not exist. Every time you fall, you must pick yourself back up—stronger. If you take the time to learn from your mistakes, you will grow into someone smarter, stronger, and better.
The most successful people did not have an easy path. They struggled. But they understood that all they needed to do was keep moving, even if it takes months, years, or even decades.