On November 22, the New York Football Giants released quarterback Daniel Jones, after they had already benched him in favor of Tommy “Most Italian Man in Football” DeVito. This decision came as a surprise to absolutely nobody, given that Jones had just led the team to their fifth straight loss against the Panthers*, throwing for no touchdowns and completing two passes to the opposite team.
After parting ways with the Giants, Jones signed with the Vikings, joining Sam Darnold, Mick Mullins, J.J. McCarthy, and Brett Rypien in a crowded quarterback room. From 2019 to 2024, Daniel Jones had been on the Giants and started in nearly every game for which he was healthy. It is clear his name will live in infamy for every Giants fan, and the choice to offer him a contract over Saquon Barkley* will be regarded as one of the biggest blunders of all time.
But how did this even happen? How did we get to this point? As the philosopher A.C. Pérez [Ed. Note—yeah, this one’s our fault. We couldn’t resist. Sue us.] once noted, “to understand the future, we have to go back in time.”
The year is 2019.
Your name is Pat Shurmur, and you are the new head coach of the New York Giants. Life is good!
However, you have a problem: you finished the last season 5-11, and the Giants are known for going through coaches very quickly, so you came into this job already worried about being fired. The best way to ensure that you keep your position is to turn the team around, starting with the quarterback position. Let’s face it, Eli Manning is ready to retire and past his prime, so keeping him around for much longer wouldn’t help you. No, you need some new blood to bring a change to this stale franchise. The best way to do that is in the draft.
The best QB, Kyler Murray, is taken first by the Arizona Cardinals, but you use your sixth overall pick to take the Duke QB Daniel Jones, not realizing that you have started one of the most infamous quarterback tenures in franchise history. You are just trying to keep your job.
It doesn’t work.
The year is 2022.
Your name is Brian Daboll, and you are the new head coach of the New York Giants. (Note: the last head coach was not Pat Shurmur, who got fired after only one year, but Joe Judge, who lasted for a whole two years.) Your team has had Daniel Jones for three years, so it is time to decide whether to give him the fifth year to his rookie contract or leave it at four.
Looking back on his seasons with the team, one option is clear for this young QB: drop him as quickly as possible. Despite a record-breaking rookie season, Daniel Jones has struggled a lot, especially when it comes to turnovers. It would be better to start over with another QB and leave the Danny Dimes Era behind you. But alas, that is not in the cards for you. Suddenly, Daniel Jones starts playing some of the best football of his career, not just actually winning games but getting the team to a 9-7-1 record and into the wild card.
Then something truly shocking happens: the Giants win their first playoff game since 2012, when they won the Super Bowl. Daniel Jones helps lead the team to this victory and, although you lose 38-7 in the next round against the Eagles, Jones appears to be a different man. The entire team is working well together, and things are really looking up.
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows though, as both Jones and RB Saquon Barkley, drafted in 2018 and on his fifth-year extension, are at the end of their contracts. It is on you to make your way out of this situation with as much talent still on the Giants as possible. To make matters worse, Jones comes in the next year looking for a big contract, as he wants to be your franchise QB. Rather than telling him to see if anyone else will give him this contract and negotiating it down to a more reasonable fee, you accept.
Why? Well, your reasoning is simple: Giants fans are happy right now with a playoff win after years of mediocrity. To risk losing Daniel Jones right after he won a playoff game would not be a good idea, nor make it very likely that you keep your job. Who are you to deprive the long-suffering Giants fans of their franchise QB? However, the $92 million guaranteed to Jones takes a toll on your salary cap, so you are unable to offer Saquon a big deal.
Instead, you slap the franchise tag on him, getting him for one more year before he almost certainly leaves.
The year is 2025. We know how Jones’ big contract really worked out: a 3-13 record between 2023 and 2024, several injuries, and meaningful playing time for Tyrod Taylor and the aforementioned DeVito.
Thank you for coming on this journey with me.
Oh, wait, one last t—
The year is 2125. Your name is Hunter Schottenheimer, and you are the fifth head coach the Giants have had this season.
They have just lost their fifth game in a row, dropping their record to an abysmal 2-11 and clinching the NFL record for most fourth-place division finishes in a row, with 27.
* Being a Giants fan sucks sometimes.