First impressions shape how we view things and how we act towards them, such as when we meet someone new. The initial moments of the interaction will help you determine your opinion on them. Yes, first impressions are extremely important, but they should not be the only thing helping us decide how to treat people. There are many reasons why it’s crucial to look beyond those initial moments and take the time to truly understand people.
First impressions happen quickly, usually within the first few seconds of meeting someone. They could be based on appearance, body language, tone of voice, and even the place you met the person.
For example, many of us would respect someone in a suit and tie more than somebody in ragged clothing, automatically seeing the well-dressed individual as more trustworthy, when they can in fact be quite the opposite once we learn more about them.
Another example would be meeting a teacher at a school and meeting a stranger at a party. We would be more professional at school, and therefore act professionally toward the teacher. [Ed. Note—“professionally?” are you sure about that?] Whereas, at the party, we would be more sociable and see our fellow partygoer as a social person, or however they present themselves.
However, first impressions are not always accurate. They can be influenced by biases, stereotypes, and preconceived notions, as well as what we have heard from other people. For instance, someone might come across as quiet during a first meeting, but this could be due to nervousness or unfamiliarity with the situation, rather than their true personality. Further interaction might help them be more sociable.
So generally speaking, we will never know why a person acts a certain way without asking questions. Someone could tell me “Person X is not a really good person; they really don’t know how to be nice.” With that information, I would go into my next conversation with Person X seeing them as lesser, or not taking their words seriously, when in fact, Person X may actually be a good person, and the individual who said bad things about them was slandering them to hurt their reputation.
Relying solely on first impressions can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities. We might dismiss someone who could have been a friend, colleague, or partner, simply because they didn’t make a strong enough initial impact. It’s important to remember that people are unique, and a single interaction is never enough to understand someone fully.
You might have heard of this as the anchoring effect—a bias where we rely too heavily on the first piece of information we receive (the “anchor”) when making decisions. This means that our initial perception of someone can mistakenly influence our overall judgment of them. For example, if someone is late to class once, we might anchor on that tardiness and view them as unreliable, even if they have good reasons for being late, and possibly even if they are never late to class again. Recognizing the anchoring effect at work can help us be more mindful of how we treat people.
To truly understand others, we need to go beyond first impressions and engage in meaningful conversations. Asking questions is great for getting to know someone better. It shows that we are interested in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
For example, instead of making assumptions based on someone’s appearance or initial demeanor, we can ask questions like: “What are you passionate about?” “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?” These are general questions that can help us discover common interests, build friendship, and develop a deeper understanding of the person we are interacting with.
Withholding judgment and keeping an open mind will lead to more meaningful and authentic connections. When we take the time to learn about others and appreciate their unique qualities, we can form more accurate and well-rounded opinions.
In conclusion, first impressions are important, but they should not be the sole reason for how we view others. Ask questions, hear people out, and never judge people based on one thing—because there will always be more than what is initially given.