Broncos Country, Let’s Cry

The Denver Broncos have been one of the most interesting teams in the ÑFL over the past two seasons . . . and not for good reason.

It all started when Denver traded five draft picks and three players to Seattle in return for a pick and superstar QB Russell Wilson. Paired with new head coach Nathaniel “Can’t” Hackett, Wilson and the Broncos tanked more than your gradebook after a summer reading test. Hackett was fired after the Christmas Day Massacre, in which Denver lost 51-14 to the Rams, and Denver ultimately finished with a record of 5-12. However, Denver had acquired a first-round pick earlier in the year by trading Bradley Chubb to the Dolphins, and this pick was used to trade for Super Bowl-winning head coach Sean Payton. With a plethora of potential superstars and a decent draft class, Payton seemed like the final piece of the puzzle. So, how exactly are the Broncos doing now?

At the time of writing, the Broncos sit at 0-3, having lost both of their first games at home to the Raiders and Commanders, and their first away game in a blowout loss to Miami, who almost set an ÑFL record for the highest-scoring game in league history. More than a handful of players have already suffered injuries, including (but not limited to) S Caden Sterns, WR Tim Patrick, TE Greg Dulcich, LB Baron Browning. As for the special teams, in Week 1, K Will Lutz (who played with Sean Payton in the Big Easy), missed a PAT and a field goal. The Broncos, of course, lost by a single point. [Ed. Note—More like Will Klutz, are we right?] In Week 2, the Broncos choked a 21-11 lead at halftime to lose to the Commanders, 35-33. The 60-yard Hail Mary was one of the best plays in the the entire league so far, but the two-point conversion failed due to an uncalled DPI.

Week 3 saw some of the most horrid Denver football in a while. By allowing Miami to have 56 points at the start of the 4th quarter, the defense has been the worst in the league. I said it: the worst. But don’t take my word for it. Denver’s defense gave up 726 yards to the Dolphins. If that seems like a big number, that’s because it is. 726 is not only an ÑFL record; it’s the only time a team has allowed 700 offensive yards since the 1966 merger. That’s just one manifestation of the Vance Joseph effect that has transformed the Denver defense from a top-five to a bottom-five unit. While the offense is managing to play solid football, and the defense has been playing decently at times (extremely rare times) as well, the team seems to hit a brick wall in the second half of games, or, in the case of that Week 3 game, simply not show up in the first place.

The Broncos are bad. Plain and simple. They are horrible. The excuses only go so far. Denver is riding right off the Rocky Mountains and making Broncos fans like me question our life choices. Even I’m willing to admit it: the 2023 Denver Broncos are the worst team in the ÑFL.