Florida Man: Where Is He Now?

Who is Florida Man?

Where were you when you first heard of Florida Man?

If you were on Twitter in February 2013, you probably heard about him from @_FloridaMan, a feed which quoted news headlines containing the words “Florida man,” such as “Florida man run over by van after dog pushes accelerator” or “Police arrest Florida man for drunken joy ride on motorized scooter at Walmart.”

Six years later, just search up “Florida man” on the internet and you will find plenty of well-attested crazy stunts and dumb crimes Florida Man has attempted, some with an accompanying mugshot featuring wacky hair, an oversized neck, or, possibly, even stranger things. Even the FX show Atlanta felt the need to mention Florida Man in its second season premiere. In the scene, Florida Man is described as a mysterious being that goes around Florida terrorizing the state by taking part in some of the weirdest crimes in human history.

Even in the real world, however, Florida Man headlines have proven to be everything from vaguely unsettling to downright weird.

What Has He Done?

Of course, you might be wondering exactly what these headlines are.

Well, in one headline from last year, two men, one wearing a bull onesie, robbed a house, and then proceeded to attempt to set the house on fire using Ragu pizza sauce. Another headline had Florida Man attempting to smoke crack in the ICU, almost burning down the hospital.

Or would you rather hear about Florida Man headlines that don’t involve fire?

How about Florida Man stealing 850 pairs of underwear from Victoria’s Secret, Florida Man leaving his job at Burger King and stealing all of their chicken nuggets, or a Florida Man with multiple face tattoos climbing onto playground equipment and telling children where babies come from, or the Morales’ favorite, in which Florida Man sacrifices goat, drinks its blood, and then runs for Congress?

Actually, there are surprisingly many Florida Man headlines related to incidents at fast food restaurants, especially Taco Bell.

One man with a hilarious mugshot tried to ride his bike through a Taco Bell drive-thru before fighting the police. Another man was arrested for DUI after mistaking a bank drive-thru for Taco Bell. By far the funniest encounter Florida Man has had with Taco Bell was when one drunk man tried to use a taco as ID after his car caught fire.

One of my favorite headlines was when Florida Man claimed he killed his imaginary friend and then turned himself into police. [Ed. Note – Unfortunately this one’s false, but the fact that we had to check should tell you something.] Another funny headline was when Florida Man broke into jail to hang out with his imprisoned friends.

Obviously, some Florida Man headlines are a little too extreme for this news article, but feel free to search the meme up on the web at your own risk. There’s a recent doozy.

What Happened to Florida Man?

As a meme, Florida Man is definitely on the decline. Yes, some recent headlines such as Florida Man chewing up a police car seat after his arrest are still pretty funny. (Not to mention that the recent GoFundMe page for the border wall proposed by President Trump was set up by—you guessed it—a Florida Man, who is probably pretty angry right about now.) However, the headlines seem to be getting rarer each year since 2013, when the meme first originated.

I predict that Florida Man has decided to move on from Florida and settle down in a new state. He would most likely move north, since there is literally nowhere else he could go. If he decides to go up the East Coast, be afraid—New York Man might be with us soon.